number 9Regardless of how you felt your last sales call went, there are a few things your customer just called me about and asked me to share with you.

The customer said there’s no need to say “thanks,” but they do want you to adhere to these things the next time you come by:

1.  Next time you visit me, would you please shut up and quit talking so much?  You drive me nuts with all your talking.  Just be glad you don’t work for me. I’d move you to a remote location immediately so I wouldn’t have to listen to you babble.

2.  I couldn’t care less about how good you say you and your company are.  By the way, if you’re really that good, I don’t think you would be wasting your time calling on me.

3.  Your competitors happen to be people I respect.  Next time you bad mouth them and what they sell, I’m going to make sure I have them on the phone so they can hear you say it directly.

4.  The sales materials you use are lame.  Who in your marketing department developed them?  I can only imagine how much they cost to print.  Clearly they’re designed for some “model customer” who simply doesn’t exist.  To me that stuff is nothing more than smoke and mirrors. By the way, if you want the materials back you gave me last time, check with your competitor. Remember, they’re my friend, so I merely passed them along to them.

5.  Please return my phone call.  If you want to do business with me, then you had better be ready to help me when I need help.  Don’t whine about how busy you are. What do you think I’m doing all day? Sitting around eating Bon Bons?

6.  Quit passing blame. Take the hit by saying you’re sorry.  The lame excuses about how every problem is due to somebody else not doing something correctly gets really boring.  Suck it up cowboy and admit you’re not perfect and neither am I.  If you don’t want to admit you’ve ever made a mistake, then do yourself a favor and become a politician.

7.  Please take control of the idiots at your company.  You mentioned some unknown person in your company was going to take care of a problem for me.  For starters, they didn’t call when you said they were going to.  Second, they made me feel like the issue was my problem and I was disturbing them. A real first class company that puts the customer first? Oh, I forgot that’s what is says on your company’s website. It’s not what you do, though.

8.  If you want me to buy something, ask me to buy.  You go through this convoluted dance each time you come to meet with me.  It’s as if you’re scared of me and the fact I will probably say “no” to your request.   As a salesperson, if you can’t accept “no,” then do yourself a favor and get a different job.  If I wanted you to be scared of me, I would bring my pit bull into the office.

9.  You’re right — I do act busy each time you call on me.  Sorry, but you waste too much of my time talking about nothing.  If you want to meet, make it important by making it about what I need.  If you’re not focused on what I need, I act busy to get you to leave.  If that doesn’t work, I go to Plan B — the pit bull.

Oh, one more thing. Quit treating me like I’m your best friend.   I respect you and the job you do, just as I ask you to respect me and the job I do. But that does not mean you’re my best friend.

Copyright 2013, Mark Hunter “The Sales Hunter.” Sales Motivation Blog.

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